Authored by Donna Detweiler and shared with permission from the Studio 3 Music blog. Based in the Seattle, WA area, Studio 3 Music is the world’s largest Kindermusik program.
Insight from: The Way They Learn, by Cynthia Tobias
Cynthia Tobias has been writing about kids, learning styles and education for a long time. Her books are incredibly practical.
Decoding My Husband’s Bent
In her book titled, The Way They Learn, “They” can refer to us, or our spouses, or our children, anyone really! So, I found this book to provide helpful and interesting insight into myself, my spouse, my children and other significant relationships in my life. The last time I read it, I retained the most information about my “bent,” my preference for taking in information and processing it. This time, I found myself immersed in the chapters that decoded my husband’s bent. Even after 14 years of marriage, I don’t always understand his motivations or behaviors. Cynthia writes:
What seldom occurs to us is that other people, perhaps even those in our own family, may view the world in an entirely different way than we do…and have dramatically dissimilar approaches to life. You begin to realize that people are fundamentally different.
After discovering all sorts of insights into his life, not only did I feel I understood him better, but I trust him more! Let’s be honest, it’s the areas of our greatest differences—those pesky “opposites attract” areas that create the most strife. Often, we simply don’t understand our spouses, or our children’s attitudes or actions.
When Our Children Are Different Than Us
The more children you have, the more potential you have to see this in action. Cynthia draws lots of insights from her life experience—she and her husband are raising identical twins, which are identical only to the casual observer! As a parent, being a little less clueless about why our kids do what they do—primarily when it’s different that our “doing”– can be tremendously helpful for us and them.
In my next couple of blogs, here’s what I hope to help you learn from Cynthia’s book.
*What are the two main ways that you, your spouse and your children take in information? Are you a concrete or abstract perceiver?
*What are the two main methods people use to order the perceived information? Do you order information sequentially or in random chunks?
*How does this information help you to have the most beneficial relationship with others, as a parent or spouse or friend?
Discovering your learning style and your loved ones’ learning styles is exciting because it’s empowering. I don’t know about you, but I’m always ready to add some tools to my relational and parenting tool box. Talk to you again soon!