[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]We’ve listed the endless benefits of an early childhood saturated in musical experiences before (and we’ll keep doing it, too!). The science is in: music is good for the brain. It’s good for the body. It helps build all types of intelligence. Music making positively impacts language development, creativity, and coordination. When you make music with others, it increases empathy and trust. The list of music’s benefits, particularly for our young ones, seems to constantly grow.
But there’s a benefit that we haven’t really talked about too much: regularly enriching the young life with music leads to a lifetime of music appreciation. It’s really an investment, right? By planting the seeds early, we see beautiful green shoots poke through the surface that will lead to fully-bloomed musical flowers, flowers that will add dazzling colors to the entirety of life’s journey.
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Here’s the truth friends. Every child is born a natural musician. Every child is born a natural artist. From the first sounds we hear from them, there’s music present. We are musical beings at heart. Don’t you hear music in your baby’s babbling? I know I did. Watch this short video of a mother and child exploring different tones – to the great amusement of both.[/vc_column_text][vc_video link=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP3v-H6xGtU”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]That little girl was composing! She was exploring different pitches as her mother interacted with her. She was exploring her musical voice.
What about this little one mimicking her mother’s song? Friends – this is magic. You can see her going back and forth from listening and copying.[/vc_column_text][vc_video link=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ58BW_xlcc”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]
The Next Steps
These attempts to copy what they hear, lead to music-making on their own. How many times did you hear your baby over the monitor singing in the crib? Making music often becomes a method to self-soothe. Remember? Making music releases endorphins which lower cortisol (the stress hormone) levels in the body.
These parents caught their daughter singing Darth Vader’s Imperial March in her crib.[/vc_column_text][vc_video link=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bX_kKA6gXCg”][vc_column_text]Every child’s a singer. Every child’s a drummer. But as we move through our young lives, without regular musical activity and encouragement, we lose a little of that sense of endless possibility. There’s a wonderful story about a group of kids that were studied over the course of several years. In kindergarten, they were asked, “How many of you can sing?” EVERYBODY’S hand shot up. A chorus of “Me! Me! I can!” rang through the room.
Four years later, that group was asked the same question. “How many of you can sing?” There was still a largely positive response, but certainly fewer hands went up.
In middle school, they were asked again. “Who here is a singer?”
Less than half of the room responded affirmatively.
By the time this group of kids was in high school, the number of kids that thought of themselves as possessing the capacity to sing well dropped to 10%.
Somewhere along the way, they forgot that in infancy, each of them was a singing, drumming, dancing artist who brought musical beauty into the world.
So what do we do? How do we keep them engaged?[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]
Give Them Experiences!
It’s simple, really. Constantly bring music into your kids’ lives. Start while they’re in the womb. Have music playing when they are born. Sing to them every day. Play music for them. Bring them to kid appropriate concerts. As they get older, make daily activities like cleaning up or making the bed musical activities. Make up silly songs for everything.
Make music their second language. These are the seeds that lead to those shoots of green that lead to a garden of life full of musical flowers. The more experiences you give them, like our wonderful Kindermusik classes, will get them addicted to something that will only enhance the quality of their lives.
Music feeds the mind…music feeds the body…music feeds the soul.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Author and early childhood education expert Nancy Carlsson-Paige makes the case for authentic educational experiences, less concerned with assessment and more concerned with experiences that give kids what they need – opportunities to be kids.
Dr. Nancy Carlsson-Paige knows a thing or two about childhood development. For 30 years, she trained teachers at Lesley University and is critical of educational models that focus on standardized tests. Dr. Carlsson-Paige’s focus can be found right in the subtitle of her book: A Proven Roadmap for Raising Confident, Creative, Compassionate Kids. But how do we do this? In her acceptance speech upon receiving the Deborah Meier Award by the nonprofit National Center for Fair and Open Testing, she said the following, published in the Washington Post:
I have loved my life’s work – teaching teachers about how young children think, how they learn, how they develop socially, emotionally, morally. I’ve been fascinated with the theories and science of my field and seeing it expressed in the actions and the play of children.
So never in my wildest dreams could I have foreseen the situation we find ourselves in today.
Where education policies that do not reflect what we know about how young children learn could be mandated and followed. We have decades of research in child development and neuroscience that tell us that young children learn actively — they have to move, use their senses, get their hands on things, interact with other kids and teachers, create, invent. But in this twisted time, young children starting public pre-K at the age of 4 are expected to learn through “rigorous instruction.”
And never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that we would have to defend children’s right to play.
Play is the primary engine of human growth; it’s universal – as much as walking and talking. Play is the way children build ideas and how they make sense of their experience and feel safe. Just look at all the math concepts at work in the intricate buildings of kindergartners. Or watch a 4-year-old put on a cape and pretend to be a superhero after witnessing some scary event.
But play is disappearing from classrooms. Even though we know play is learning for young kids, we are seeing it shoved aside to make room for academic instruction and “rigor.”
Dr. Carlsson-Paige reminds us that some of the most important competencies can’t be tested.[/vc_column_text][blockquote cite=”Dr. Nancy Carlsson-Paige”]”Self-regulation, problem solving ability, social and emotional competence, imagination, initiative, curiosity, original thinking — these capacities make or break success in school and life and they can’t be reduced to numbers.”[/blockquote][vc_column_text]Letting kids be kids, letting them experience the world through interaction with peers in a safe environment, supervised by caring, trained educators is incredibly beneficial as children develop. Where can we find these opportunities? Often, in many districts, even at the kindergarten level, the school day is rigidly structured, with little time for creative play, and that, as Dr. Carlsson-Paige points out, is one of the three things young children need:
Time and Space for Creative Play
Feeling of Security
Strong Meaningful Relationships with Adults and other Children
This is key. I know – it sounds like a line, but love is empathy and caring in action. Kids learn how to interact with others by actually interacting with others. And in those interactions, especially starting from age two, they begin to understand empathy and caring. Social and emotional coaching from trusted adults guides kids through this development. When you see one child sharing with another…when you see one child helping another up after he tripped, you are seeing love in action.
If young children don’t receive these experiences that positively shape their developmental progress in school, where can they find them? Where can they experience all three of Dr. Carlsson-Paige’s legs that support the table of childhood? Kindermusik fits the bill. Here are 10 benefits of enrolling:
Benefit #1: Kindermusik gives your child that unique head start you’ve been looking for – musically, cognitively, and academically.
Benefit#2: Kindermusik inspires a love of music from an early age with songs, instruments, and activities that are just right for each age and every stage.
Benefit #3: Kindermusik enhances every area of your child’s development – we are so much more than just music!
Benefit #4: Kindermusik gives you the time and the tools to enjoy quality time with your child – in class and at home.
Benefit #5: Kindermusik Home Materials let you take the music, fun, and learning with you all week long, wherever you go.
Benefit #6: Kindermusik classes provide a happy social outlet for your child and a valuable support network for you.
Benefit #7: All Kindermusik activities are research-proven and giggle-approved, and all are supported by a developmental and musical focus.
Benefit #8: Kindermusik lays a strong foundation for future success in school and in formal music lessons later on.
Benefit #9: Kindermusik is something you and your child will use every day – at home or on the go!
Benefit #10: Kindermusik offers a comprehensive program with the potential for positively impacting your child from newborn all the way to 7 years of age.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Check out Dr. Carlsson-Paige’s book. It is a research-based, compassionate approach to guiding the development of children, written by a veteran collegiate educator who is also the mother of two successful, artist sons.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
I became a member of the Kindermusik family over 20 years ago now, thanks to a dear college professor who encouraged me to pursue my love of music and young children by becoming a licensed Kindermusik educator. Little did either of us know that the first step of enrolling in Kindermusik training would lead to so many years of doing something I love with all of my heart – teaching and owning a Kindermusik studio!
So what does it take to start a studio? Well, you can get all of the practical logistics from the Kindermusik International site, and I highly suggest starting there. You’ll find lots of great information that will not only answer your questions, but will also help guide and confirm your decision.
But if you want to know what it REALLY takes to start a Kindermusik studio and join the incredible community of Kindermusik educators and programs all around the world… read on!
It takes a heart that never stops expanding…
The best Kindermusik teachers have the capacity for boundless love for children AND their adults. With love comes connection, and with connection comes families who adore you and stay with your program.
It takes a commitment to always be learning…
I’m talking about more than just learning the lesson activities – it’s about learning and growing as a professional. If you are always growing, your teaching will always be fresh.
It takes persistence and dedication…
Starting a business isn’t easy, but it has huge rewards. Those rewards come in all shapes and forms, and they are definitely worth working for.
It takes a willingness to continually strive for excellence…
It’s about both doing your best and also giving the best. The Kindermusik curriculum is the best on the planet, and as Kindermusik educators, it’s our job to deliver an incredible experience.
It takes connecting with other Kindermusik educators…
One of the absolute BEST benefits of being a Kindermusik educator has been meeting and getting to know – and love – other Kindermusik educators around the world. Some of my most cherished friendships are with Kindermusik educators!
It takes creativity, planned and spontaneous…
A Kindermusik lesson plan absolutely comes alive in the hands of a creative educator. Much of that creativity is carefully planned in advance, and the rest happens in the moment.
Theresa Case, uses her Masters of Music Education to teach students of all ages to appreciate music in Kindermusik.
Hear what inspired Mary Pratt to become a licensed Kindermusik Educator:
It takes an understanding of child development…
You’ll learn so much by studying the Benefit Statements in the curriculum and by observing the children in your classes. But doing some extra reading and study will really enhance your ability to relate to the children and affirm the parents.
It takes an absolute love of music…
Singing, dancing, making music, and leading and inspiring others to do the same – you have to love it with all your heart so they will too.
It takes an unshakeable belief in the power of music…
This is what will motivate you, what will keep you going – knowing that music has the power to make such a difference in the lives of children and their families. When you see it firsthand, over and over, you’ll want to teach Kindermusik until you are no longer able to sing and move. Starting a Kindermusik studio is worth everything you will invest in it…and then some.
The heart and soul of Kindermusik is our highly passionate community of educators and business owners around the world. They’re musical, business-minded, enthusiastic, and extremely committed. Does this sound like you? If so, become part of the world’s most carefully researched, developmentally-appropriate early childhood music program! I promise…teaching Kindermusik will make as much of a difference in YOUR life as it does in the lives of the children and families you will be privileged to love and teach.
Shared by Theresa Case who’s kept at it for the love of “musik” for over 20 years now… and hopes to be at for at least 20+ years more! Theresa’s award-winning Kindermusik program is part of the program at Piano Central Studios in beautiful Greenville, South Carolina.
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Beth Anspach has a heart for children and families and bringing them together, as evidenced by her studio business, Pathways to Learning, which began in 2000 and now offers both Kindermusik classes as well as Conscious Discipline® workshops and coaching. Beth’s business serves families in the Red Hook, New York area, with three studio locations. Among her families, Beth is known for her patience, calm, and upbeat attitude. Some of her hobbies including spending time with her kids and reading. Beth can hardly believe that the year 2017 marks her 20th year of being a licensed Kindermusik educator. Time flies when you love what you do and when you are making such a big difference in your little corner of the world!
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]TC: First things first. What do your Kindermusik kids call you?
BA: Miss Beth
TC: What do you love most about being a Kindermusik educator?
BA: I love having an opportunity to work closely with parents and their children. The Kindermusik tenet that the parent is the child best and primary teacher provides opportunity for contact with parents at all levels of the studio curricula. Supporting parents in the understanding of their child’s development and helping adult and child connect through music and movement is the most rewarding part of what I do, well that and the loads of love that children extend to me throughout the day.
TC: What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you as a Kindermusik teacher?
BA: There have been so many touching experiences over the years, but here’s a funny one. I was putting stamps on hands after class and one child was uncertain so I reassured her saying that the stamp would wash off really easily if she decided she didn’t like it. Out of the blue another 3-year old in the waiting area piped up, “My mommy has a stamp of a butterfly on her butt that doesn’t ever wash off.” I’m not sure if mom wanted everyone to know she had a butterfly tattoo on her bottom or not but everyone got a chuckle.
TC: What’s your favorite Kindermusik song to sing?
BA: There are so many favorites. We have such a rich and diverse collection. Some of the lullabies are my favorites because of the emotional connection to having sung them with my own babies. “Sulla Lulla” and “Armenian Lullaby” are two that hold a special spot in my heart.
TC: What’s your favorite Kindermusik dance to lead?
BA: Again, so many great dances to choose from. I guess “Mama Paquita” is one on the top of my list. I especially love the circle dances we do in Cuddle & Bounce. These dances not only impact the babies as they watch the other adults and babies move around the circle but you can really see the adults connecting through moving and dancing together in synchrony. The smiles and giggles from adults and babies alike as well as the nonverbal connections that are made in these moments are priceless.
It’s also fun to watch the progression of circle dances throughout the Kindermusik 7-year continuum. From babes in arms being carried around the circle, to young toddlers holding on (just to their own parent’s hand) to older toddlers feeling safe enough to hold hands with other adults, to preschoolers having enough control to hold hands with their peers, and on up to school aged kiddos ready to take on the dances without the adults present.
TC: Describe a teaching experience or favorite Kindermusik family that has impacted you as a teacher.
BA: There was a class of toddlers once where one little boy was really having difficulty being gentle with the other children (typical of many toddlers) and mom was struggling with what to do, feeling like a failure. It was a challenging time as everyone was concerned for safety and you could feel the tension in the classroom. I remember, after an incident, simply putting my hand on mom’s shoulder and confirming for her that we all cared deeply for her and her little boy and that we recognized her effort in trying to help her child and help keep the other children safe. I asked her permission to let us help her and her sweet boy and gave her and the other parents some ideas on what they could do to be helpful. It was an amazing moment as the class came together in support of, instead of in judgement of, a fellow parent. It was at that moment I realized that as a teacher I often have the power to set the tone and lead by example for the adults as much as for the children. We were able to help this little boy and keep the other children safe and the parents from this particular class are one of the closest knit groups to this day.[/vc_column_text][vc_video link=”https://vimeo.com/203920315″][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]TC: If you had to name just one secret to success in the Kindermusik classroom, what would it be?
BA: Being prepared. It is only when we are well prepared to teach a lesson that we can adjust that lesson to meet the needs of the group and tailor the class experience to the specific children in front of you. Once you know and understand where a lesson is going you can follow the child and families and lead the way at the same time.
TC: If you could share one tip with a new Kindermusik educator, what would it be?
AB: Slow down and lean in (is that two?!). The reality is it’s not about getting through the lesson plan (although they are amazing) or getting to all the activities (although they are fun and valuable); it’s about taking the time to help everyone lean in to the experience. Everything happens so fast in our world that adults and children (and teachers!) have grown accustomed to the fast pace. When I was a new educator I often moved on from an activity too fast. The moment I thought an activity wasn’t going to work for a class, I was on it with something new to do or a prop to add pizzazz. Quite by accident I realized that if I went a little bit beyond my comfort zone and instead slowed down, allowing time for observation, giving adults and children time to figure things out and supporting them by coaching (rather than changing things up) amazing things happened. Connections are made in those moments. Now don’t get me wrong, there is a time to move on and add pizzazz. Paying attention to the needs of your class is a must but going just a bit beyond where you’re comfortable is where the magic happens.
TC: Why did you open your own studio business?
BA: I had stopped working full time as a Music Therapist after my first child was born and needed an outlet as a mom and as a professional. Opening a Kindermusik business just made sense and met both of those needs.
TC: What are some of the goals you have for your business?
BA: I would like to continue to expand our reach by adding more classes in other locations. My goal is to impact more children and families. I have one great teacher working with me now and in the future hope to have enough demand for classes to add more teachers and more locations to the team.
TC: What’s something new and exciting that’s happening with your business?
BA: Well, after nearly 20 years of being licensed, I hired my first educator last year. That’s really exciting for me and for my studio families. Having Alissa on the team has been such a relief, especially after being a one woman show for so long. It’s also great for our community as we are able to offer more classes and have a greater reach with two of us teaching. It’s also nice to have another educator right here to bounce ideas off of. I’m just as excited to learn from her as I am to share what I know with her.[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]
Miss Beth and the dancing scarf!
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]TC: What do you feel has made your studio business a success?
BA: Honestly, prayer. Ultimately, I give all glory to God for any success I have achieved. In addition to that, lots of hard work and openness to adapt and change as needed. My focus is creating the best studio experience. It can be easy to put energy into what else is going on, who my competition is, what they’re doing and so on. Instead I choose to focus on the studio offering the best class experience we can. That means being willing to change things and adapt to what will help us offer the best. This past year it meant hiring another teacher. Additional training is a big part of offering the best.
Six years ago, I chose to pursue training in Conscious Discipline ® and became a Conscious Discipline ® Certified Instructor in 2015. That training allows me to offer something very unique to my studio families. In addition to what it adds to the class experience, I’m also able to offer adult classes to further equip parents.
Another training that didn’t help as much inside the classroom but helped with a lot of the work outside the classroom was the Studio Expansion Program training. It really helped me organize myself, make a plan for growth, and see it through. The business part of being a business owner was never a strength, and the SEP has given me skills I desperately needed to create growth. We have seen a 10-15% growth as a result of putting into place what I learned doing the SEP. Finally, staying connected to the educator community through face to face events and conferences has had a huge impact on my motivation and success. The opportunity to learn from others and share with like-minded educators always puts a zip in my step and drives me a little bit more.
What makes your studio such a special place? Our studio is a place where each family, adult, and child is welcomed, accepted, and supported. Our goal is to equip parents with the skills that will allow them to understand their child and help them develop while we also equip children with the skills they will need for lifetime success and joyful living. Lastly, we strive to facilitate connections. These connections between children and their parents/caregivers, families and other families, children to children, and adults to adults allow us to create a community where each member is celebrated and valued.
What is your favorite inspirational quote?
“Life is an echo. What you send out comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you.” – Zig Ziglar[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
“It is the special province of music to move the heart.” – Johann Sebastian Bach
I’ve said it before: music is magic. It’s the strangest thing…something you can’t physically touch can have such a tremendous impact on your emotional state. And it’s pervasive. Marketing folks and film producers know this magic. They effectively use music to tug at your heart strings when the mom in the insurance commercial opens up a letter from her son, who’s been away at college. Music, in situations such as this, increases emotional response. It’s as if music is an emotional lubricant – think of Dorothy freeing the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz with the oil can – music can sometimes free emotions that have been stuck in gear.
Music, Love, and the Brain
Dr. Cortney S. Warren, a professor at University of Nevada, Las Vegas states it quite clearly – “Music is what feelings sound like.” This is true, especially for composers and performers in many cases. They are expressing emotions through their music. We often get a tonal representation of an emotional state. But what about how the music impacts the listener? Well, part of this comes from association. Hearing is a sense and is tied to memory just like the other senses. When you eat that favorite childhood dish, you are taken back to pleasant days, sharing a meal with the family. When you smell a specific flower – let’s say a daisy – you are reminded of your baby shower because the room was full of daisies that day. Music has the same associative impact. When you hear the song to which you danced your first dance at your wedding, it most likely will bring forth positive emotions (as long as no one’s feet got stepped on!). The music becomes a cue for the brain to recall a memory associated with that tune.
Makes sense. But when you’ve never heard a piece of music before and it causes certain feelings, what’s going on there?
Words Matter…But So Do Notes
If the music has words, this can have an obvious impact. A song that talks about the one that got away might make you think of the one that got away. If you are expecting and a song talks about babies, you might respond with strong emotions. If you have no connection to the words, you might not feel much. But music doesn’t need words to evoke feeling. Therein lies its magic – and it’s based on science.
The amygdalae are deep, central brain structures that receive some of the first projections from the lower brain centers. Music stimulates the amygdalae in a similar way to faces, smells and other sounds, most likely because all these stimuli are perceived as having social significance due to their communicative properties.
So music has a physical effect on the part of the brain that is partially responsible for processing emotional reaction and memory.
Let’s try something. Take a listen to the first few minutes of this piece by Arvo Pärt, an Estonian composer of minimalist music. This is his Spiegel im Spiegel (Mirror of Mirrors) for piano and cello. It is very, very simple. No words. No flashy rhythms. No driving drum beat. No singer crooning about that special night. Close your eyes and listen. As you listen, think of a loved one for whom you care very deeply, whom you haven’t seen in a while. Press play, close your eyes, think of that person, and listen.
Music Waters the Emotional Tree of the Soul
What happened? What did you think of? What did you see in your mind? What did you feel? I bet you felt something. Did you cry? Did you smile? Did the music take you to an emotional place you weren’t expecting? It’s almost as if the music gives us permission to feel, to emote, to let the inward become the outward.
Music, in its infinite wonder, feeds the emotional tree of the soul. It allows buds to form, flowers to bloom, and green leaves to spread like a crown, turning toward the light of the sun and collecting dew in the morning and rain drops in the afternoon.
Music connects us emotionally. When you make music with others, you develop a sense of trust, of empathy, of compassion. Sure, there’s science to back this up, but we can feel it when it happens. When there’s a song in your heart, let it out.
I’ll say it again: music is magic. And with respect to Shakespeare’s original line from Twelfth Night, I think Col. Henry Heveningham got it right when he said, “If music be the food of love, sing on!”
Stress. We all deal with it from time to time….and friends, so do our kids. Don’t forget – we have a lifetime of experience in managing stress – and even then we can have a hard time with it. Our kids deal with stress, too…and they are stress novices. It’s up to us to help them develop the skills and methods to cope with stress in their young lives. As it turns out, and this is in no way by accident, music and movement, the very things at which we are experts, are fantastic ways to alleviate stress. Science lights the way. Let’s check it out!
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Here at Kindermusik, we love sharing tips that help make parenting a little easier and also help bring out the best in your kids – including their creativity and self-expressiveness! After all, one of the gifts of learning music and participating in a weekly music class is the beautiful way in which self-expression and creativity are both fostered and encouraged.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we thought you’d be inspired to enjoy some of these simple Valentine’s themed, DIY crafts with your children. And by the way, we’d love for you to share pictures of your results on the Kindermusik Facebook page. #KindermusikCreativity[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]
[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]Our friends over at The Artful Parent always have such great ideas. Check out this beautiful heart-shaped sun catcher and their great idea for a Do-it-Yourself light table!
[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]The Artful Parent does it again! Take a look at their fresh take on the homemade shirt. It’s cool, hip, and fashion forward!
[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]From across the pond, Activity Village brings us the cutest heart-inspired idea – the handprint heart! It’s fast, easy, and fun. Check it out!
[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]Need some extra decorations around the house? How about a wreath made from Valentine’s Day colored tissue paper? The folks at Happy Hooligans provide the instructions – you provide the fun!
[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]Want to look at the world a little differently? Maybe with a little more heart? Then take a look at Happily Ever Mom’s heart-shaped binoculars. – yet another use for used toilet paper rolls!
[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]Toddler Approved brings us adorable little DIY love bugs. Remember, a bug with a heart-shaped face and a smile is cute…not creepy!
[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]This is a favorite – also from Toddler Approved. The Bouquet of Love lets your little one have a blast making free designs with paint or any other medium, and in the end, produces a beautiful finished product, filled with the unique artistic expressions of your child. Take a peek!
Have fun with your little love bug as you make a few Valentine’s crafts – and lots of special memories – together!![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
What has been one of the most effective treatments for babies born prematurely? You guessed it – music!
In fact, Shanghai’s Children’s Hospital of Fudan University regularly uses music therapy “…to help premature babies to speed up nerve cell repairing and development…“, more proof of the power of music to activate and enhance brain activity and development.
Various clinical trials have recently revealed that the sound of mom or dad singing can stabilize the breathing and heart rates of babies born prematurely. And there’s benefit for mom and dad too who report that their own stress levels were lowered as they sang to their little ones, promoting greater bonding and attachment between parents and preemies.
Other music therapy interventions, specifically the use of live music, have been found to “…increase a premature infant’s capacity to feed, sleep, and self-regulate…”, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.
If music has this kind of power to affect premature babies who are at their most vulnerable, think of the impact music can have on a little one who is not facing the challenges that come with being born prematurely!
Your child doesn’t have to be a preemie to benefit from music, and you don’t have to go to music therapy to benefit either. You can just enroll in Kindermusik classes! It’s all about opening the window of opportunity early, when the brain is most receptive to learning and growing and when little hearts can be most affected by the powerful combination of music, movement, and a whole lot of love from some really special people – engaged parents and a nurturing Kindermusik educator.
– Shared by Theresa Case, Kindermusik Educator & director of Piano Central Studios in Greenville, SC
Friends, I’m a parent. It’s the position I’m most proud of. My wife feels the same way. We have two boys – a 14 year old and a 10 year old. They are the twin joys of our life together. In our quest to make the best parenting choices, I’d like to think we’ve done pretty well – most of the time. This story is about one of the times we messed up…pretty badly. But in the end, we turned our mistake into an opportunity to teach our oldest a valuable lesson. Buckle up…it’s going to be a bit bumpy at the outset.
Setting the Scene
It was July of 2014. We live in Western Pennsylvania and my wife’s parents live on the Eastern side of the state. Our boys were almost 300 miles away visiting their grandparents. This will be important later.
Now…my May American Express bill had been a bit high – it reflected about $300 in purchases from iTunes. My wife, who handles our finances, pointed this out and asked me to curtail my spending. I’m a conductor and music educator. I do tend to spend quite a bit on music through iTunes, particularly in the summer when I am planning my year – though $300 is pretty high for one month. I mistakenly just assumed I had somehow lost track and overspent. Not checking to see if I had actually splurged that much on music purchases was my FIRST MISTAKE.
I promised Jane I would avoid any further purchases for the rest of the summer.
We return to July and a child-free house. As much as we love our boys, we were enjoying a bit of quiet. I was working in the kitchen when I heard Jane yell for me in the family room.
“Sweetheart!”
Uh oh. “Yes?”
I could tell I probably did something.
“You spent over $850 on iTunes last month! You said you’d stop!”
At this point, I knew something was off. I knew I hadn’t spent any money on music in June. Refraining from any purchases through iTunes, I had spent a great deal of time listening to music on YouTube. What was going on?
We looked at the bill together – countless charges of $1.08…$5.44…then $10.89…then $21.79. Finally, toward the end of June, someone had charged several items costing $54.49. My bill with Apple totaled $878.
“In the interest of full disclosure, I was relieved that it wasn’t me who was in trouble.” – Dr. Boyle”
Fraud!
I immediately thought my card had been compromised, so I did what anyone would do – I called American Express. While on hold, I remembered – I had connected our oldest son’s iPod Touch to my American Express account.
We had a deal with him: if he wanted to download anything – anything at all – he had to ask permission. Whether an app was free or cost money, he had to ask. Nathan had been good about this deal. He always asked. He hadn’t abused this trust since we purchased the iPod Touch for him two years prior. I would occasionally check his device to see what he’d been doing. In two years I never found anything of concern and slowly reduced how often I checked in. MISTAKE NUMBER TWO.
Still on hold, I asked Jane to call Nathan, just to check if he had downloaded anything. The customer service agent returned and agreed that if I didn’t make the purchases, which due to their repetitive nature and increasing value, things did look suspicious. While discussing possibilities with my friendly Amex Rep, I heard Jane, in an extremely loud and uncharacteristic voice, say the following:
“YOU DID WHAT?!?!?”
I sighed into the receiver. We had apparently caught the culprit – the mastermind behind the charges: our then 10 year-old son.
“Um…Ma’am?” I said sheepishly. “Never mind. We figured out what happened. Thanks for your help, though.”
I hung up.
In our 20 year marriage, I don’t think I have ever seen Jane as angry as she was that day, talking to our son on the phone (who I’m sure was extremely grateful of his 300-mile-safety-buffer). He admitted that he had been playing a game on his iPod – Clash of Clans – that may have had some “in-app purchases.”
In the interest of full disclosure, I was relieved that it wasn’t me who was in trouble.
Freemium Games and In-App Purchases
This incident introduced us to the relatively new concept of Freemium Games, brilliantly satirized by South Park the following November in the episode, “Freemium Isn’t Free.” I’m sure most know what this is, but for the uninitiated, a Freemium Game is a game that is free to download. It’s also free to play. However, it’s been designed to take advantage of our desire to move quickly through a task to get that final reward. Yes, you can play for free, but for an in-app purchase of only 99¢, you can instantly buy resources instead of collecting them over the course of days or weeks. For for $1.99, you can buy quite a bit more. And for $9.99, you can buy even more! Why wait weeks to complete a task in-game when – for pennies – you can have instant gratification?
This bit of marketing magic works. It works really well, so well that Clash of Clan’s parent company, Supercell, normally takes in over $2 million each day. Let me type that again – the company brings in 7 figures a day for selling…nothing. In Clash of Clans you can purchase gems which simply speed up game play. There is no actual product delivered – digital or otherwise. Last year, Supercell generated $2.3 billion in revenue, selling the ability to increase the speed of gameplay.
The “Gems’ purchase screen of Clash of Clans – it’s only 99¢, right?
Parenting Fail into Parenting Win
So…I had failed to verify the purchases from May. As it turns out, all of that $300-plus iTunes bill was Nathan. He started small. As he played the game, he kept increasing the number of gems he was buying. A “Pocketful” of gems costs 99¢; a “Pile” – $4.99. With just a couple clicks, you can get your resources and speed up the play. Once he got going, absent parental supervision, human nature took over. There was no stopping him. He peaked at buying “Boxes” of gems for $49.99. We had caught on before he jumped to the next purchase level – $99.99…plus tax, of course.
Because we had failed to check in on Nathan’s iPod activity, we completely missed the install of the “Freemium” game and the initial purchases. We had to accept some responsibility. Of course, Nathan broke our deal and failed to ask permission to install the game and buy anything in the game. He had been so good in the past – asking if he could buy a $1.99 app or a 99¢ song. We never thought something like this would happen.
So what did we do?
At a friend’s suggestion, I immediately called Apple. I explained the situation to them, and without asking for a refund, they offered to refund the entire amount of $1189. Pretty amazing if you ask me.
But we still needed to deal with Nathan. Thankfully, his absence gave us time to think. We had some important and often complicated concepts we wanted to get across to our son. He had spent the equivalent of our rent on nothing of any real value. He had also abused our trust. What consequence (or set of consequences) would teach rather than simply punish? How could we use this opportunity to help him understand finances?
The Plan
Here’s what we came up with. Nathan immediately lost all his internet connected devices and internet privileges – iPod, Xbox, and computer access outside of school work. This falls into the “negative punishment” block of Operant Conditioning. What we did next required a long term commitment and would result in our son truly appreciating the value of money.
We told Nathan that we transferred the money in his savings account to our account to partially take care of his debt (we didn’t really). This lowered the total amount owed to about $800. We devised a complex life lesson for our son that, in the end, taught him more than just finances. We would teach him how to live on a budget and what that requires in everyday life.
Nathan would work five hours a week at minimum wage until the $800 was paid off.
Those five real hours would represent a virtual normal 40 hour work week – so each hour equated to an 8 hour day’s pay at minimum wage.
This gave him a virtual weekly salary of $290 a week.
Out of that weekly virtual salary, Nathan had to take care of the following weekly virtual expenses:
Roughly $40 in taxes and withholdings
$90 in rent – based on the low end of one bedroom apartment rent listings in our area
$15 in utilities
$30 in heath insurance
$10 in transportation costs (he’d take public transportation to his “virtual” job)
$40 in groceries
This left him with $65 a week. Out of this money, he had to pay down the entire debt of $1189. Each hour he worked beyond his five real hours represented a virtual hour’s work of overtime and he’d virtually be paid time and a half. To his credit, he did take advantage of this and did more than five hours of work almost every week – sometimes as much as 15 real hours total. What did we have him do?
Laundry
Cooking (taught him to make pasta sauce – a very important skill in my book)
Dishes
Vacuuming
Watching his little brother
Assisting both of us with various tasks
Each week, we sat down with him and entered his hours into a Google Sheets document I created, complete with formulas that figured everything out for us. He could see his income, taxes and other withholdings, expenses, and savings. We allowed him to decide how much to save each week, but encouraged him to save as much as he could. If we went out to see a movie as a family, he had to deduct the ticket cost from his savings (no, we didn’t actually make him pay for the ticket – we’re not monsters!). We set up a minimum payment on the debt, but he could elect to pay more. We also allowed him to buy back his electronics (at seriously reduced used prices), as if he had been required to pawn them.
One last monkey wrench – we laid him off one week and “outsourced” his “job” to his 7 year-old brother. He had to rely on his savings to meet his financial requirements that week. We explained that this happens sometimes and people still need to find a way to get by. That’s one of the reasons personal saving is so important – to deal with the unexpected.
In the End
When all was said and done, this learning experience took almost six months to play out. By the end of December, Nathan had paid off the $1189 dollar virtual debt from his virtual income, and finished with about $240 in his virtual savings account. He learned that living on a budget can be a challenging thing, especially at the outset. He learned that money is normally something one earns through hard work. He learned to value his time and the work he produced. We learned that we should never take anything for granted and be as present as we can be in the ever-growing list of digital parental tasks.
Trust me…we wanted to yell at him when he returned from Eastern Pennsylvania. He had spent almost $12oo! But the physical and temporal space afforded to us by the fact that Nathan was visiting his grandparents allowed us to cool down, realize our part in this fiasco, and come up with something that would deliver a serious consequence while attempting to teach him some very valuable life lessons.
Our 10 year-old handled all of this very well. As things got going, he would often be the one to initiate our time together filling out the Google Sheet. He’d point out how much he had saved and make pretty well informed financial decisions for a kid his age – like when it made sense to try and buy back his iPod or his Xbox privileges.
The Digital Parenting Landscape
In reality – we just have new and fascinating technological situations on which we must focus age-old parenting duties. Yes, Nathan was 10, a bit older than your average Kindermusik kid, but believe me, this can happen with any child that has access to an iPod, iPhone, or iPad. We quickly learned how to turn on parental controls for purchases, and as a second option, how to only allow gift cards for purchases on the App Store.
Huff Post recently reported on a 6 year-old girl in Dallas named Brooke who ordered a doll house and four pounds of cookies through the family’s Amazon Echo device. When no one was looking, she asked the internet connected device, “Alexa, can you play doll house with me and get me a doll house?” following the request with, “Alexa, I love you.” Because the girl’s mother had one-click ordering enabled, Amazon shipped a $170 doll house to the family home, much to Brooke’s delight.
As technology continues to deliver conveniences, as parents we need to be ever vigilant, both in monitoring and in educating our kids.
Our now 14 year-old son, Nathan, checks out the Kindermusik page…with typical teenage excitement (he had to get dressed for this photo – he was lounging in his PJs).
Nathan, now a high school freshman, smiles when we recall that summer and subsequent months. He’s gotten very good at saving money. And really, it seems like just a week ago he was four, playing with Thomas the Tank engines on the living room floor. For those of you with young kids, 14 will be here before bedtime. So friends, be ready!
Resources
Apple has continued to develop controls for parents knowing that kids will be interfacing with the App Store and iTunes. Their Family Sharing controls are extremely useful and can be found here.
Likewise, Google has parental controls that are pretty robust. Information on how to adjust them are located here.
For the record, we did eventually tell Nathan that Apple refunded the money. We’re not that cruel – even if once in a blue moon he (and even his younger brother, Patrick) might give us a pretty serious eye roll.
