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The Power of “I Love You” Rituals

Created by Dr. Becky Bailey, founder of Conscious Discipline and author of “I Love You Rituals,” the concept of the “I Love You” rituals is simple and yet astoundingly powerful.  Caring touch, kind words, and intentional routine will form the kind of bond and connection that opens not just the heart, but also the mind and the will.  Because of the dopamine that’s released and the emotional connections that are made, “I Love You” rituals actually wire the brain for greater impulse control, spur a desire for positive behavior, and increase attention span and impulse control – all things that are crucial for children to succeed in relationships, in school, and in life.

Just as important as the “I love you” part is the ritual part.  Rituals are those special ways you do things – the way you greet one another, the way you reconnect after time apart, or what you do every night before bed.  Rituals are not only meaningful; they are also deliberate and predictable.  Dr. Bailey’s “I Love You” rituals are used to strengthen relationships, build trust, and during daily routines or transitions from one activity to the next.

Two of Dr. Bailey’s more well-known “I Love You” rituals are a beautiful revision of two well-known nursery rhymes.

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
What a wonderful child you are!
With bright eyes and nice round cheeks,
Talented person from head to feet.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
What a wonderful child you are!

A Wonderful Woman
A wonderful woman lived in a shoe.
She had so many children
She knew exactly what to do.
She held them,
She rocked them,
And tucked them in bed.
“I love you, I love you,”
Is what she said.

In Kindermusik, we use music and often a few special rituals borrowed from Dr. Bailey to strengthen bonds and emotional connection.  The power of “I love you” and the ritual of “I love you” is truly in the emotional connection, an emotional connection the ultimately comes full circle.  Grab a tissue and watch this video, and you’ll be convinced.  “I Love You” rituals should have a place in every home, in every classroom, and in every heart.

I Love You Rituals

Are you at the Zero to Three Conference in Seattle, Washington, December 2-4, 2015? Stop by the Kindermusik International booth!

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Music and Movement Benefits: Routines and Social-Emotional Health

Quality Time

bigstock_Mother_And_Father_Giving_Child_13915643From breakfast to playtime to naptime.  That’s one routine. Bath time, story time, then bedtime.  That’s another. Cartoons or waffles on Saturday morning – that’s a routine, too! 
As unpredictable as life with young children can sometimes be, routines and rituals are the secret to creating a calmer, saner life, to helping your children feel secure, and to building loving family relationships.  As reported by Reuters Health, a recent study has also found that children with predictable family routines “tend to be emotionally healthier and better socially adjusted.”  And there’s a close connection between thriving at home and thriving in school.
Routines provide structure and predictability – they are a child’s time keeper, both internally and externally.  Zero to Three lists these ways that love, learning, and routines are all interconnected.

Love, Learning, and Routines (from ZeroToThree.org)

  • Routines help babies and toddlers learn self-control.
  • Routines can bring you and your child closer together and reduce power struggles.
  • Routines guide positive behavior and safety.
  • Routines support children’s social skills.
  • Routines help children cope with transitions.
  • Routines are satisfying for parents, too.
  • Routines are an important opportunity for learning.

These are some of the very reasons why a Kindermusik class has many happy routines that give your child a sense of belonging and security in the classroom: after a few weeks, just experiencing the hello song, goodbye song, and all of the beloved activities in-between reassure each child that he/she is in a safe and loving community.  Repeating some of these very same activities at home with the help of your @Home Materials helps parents create family routines that will be remembered for a lifetime.

Get started on the Kindermusik routine today!  Try a free class and see how music makes every part of the day even better.

Compiled and written by Theresa Case, who has an award-winning Kindermusik program at Piano Central Studios in Greenville, SC.