Kindermusik and Your Child: Praise or Encouragement?

Kindermusik Music ClassesChildren need feedback on the work they do. But how can we provide feedback most effectively? Conventional wisdom would espouse that constant praise is necessary in our child-rearing… but is it really the most effective way to provide that much-needed feedback?

There is actually new research that would indicate that constantly praising our children is backfiring and even undermining their confidence! Praise, by definition, is an expression of worth, approval, or admiration. It is usually given to a child when a task or deed is well done or completed. In an article entitled "Encouragement or Praise for Children?" written by Elvin Klassen (written as a resource for parents teaching overseas), the author suggests that encouragement , rather than praise, should be our goal as parents and educators.

Encouragement in its best form should be specific, focused on the process rather than the finished product, sincere, focused on the effort made, non-comparative, and enabling the child to develop an appreciation for his own achievements. For example, instead of "Sally, you’re such a nice girl" – encouragement would say "Sally, I noticed you shared with Molly today." Remember, praise gives a value judgment and focuses on the person, while encouragement makes an observation about a behavior. We need to convey through words and gestures that we appreciate our child’s efforts and improvement, not just their accomplishments.

We can never underestimate the power of an encouraging word…or the right word spoken at the right time. Merriam-Webster defines encouragement this way: to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope; to hearten, urge, spur on, to stimulate, to give help. This is our goal as parents….and this is the goal each week

of your Kindermusik teacher. When your child walks into her Kindermusik class, she will be encouraged, inspired, spurred on, stimulated…allowed to explore freely and to stretch and grow musically.

There are few environments that provide the concentrated opportunities both for educator and parent alike to encourage and boost a child’s self-esteem like Kindermusik provides. This is why the Kindermusik experience is so compatible with good parenting. Growing our children is like planting a seed deep in the soil. Rain is needed to make that seed grow. Think of encouragement as the rain that is showered upon a child’s heart. Just as the physical rain causes the seed to push up through the ground in spite of all the hardships, so the "rain" of encouragement showers the soul of a child causing him to bloom and grow into the beautiful personality he’s intended to be.

** For 15 encouraging phrases to share with your child, click HERE.

Compiled by Theresa Case, whose Kindermusik program at Piano Central Studios in Greenville, SC, is proudly among the top 1% of Kindermusik programs worldwide.

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