Don't, Shouldn't, Can't, Wouldn't

Posted by Guest Contributor | Filed under , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted November 17, 2009

I heard something from a conference speaker that I believe EVERY parent and teacher and child care worker and family member should know. I’ve been searching for months for the source, because it has changed my way of speaking to the young children I work with (and the preschooler in my own home).

The following is used by permission and taken from Conscious Discipline by Becky Bailey, PhD.

Watch a toddler. If you say, “Don’t touch the lamp,” what does the child do? She will look at you, look at the lamp, point to it, touch it and then look back at you – usually with a big smile. Her brain heard, “Touch the lamp,” so she looks at you proudly as if to say, “Hey! I did it! I touched the lamp!” Imgaine her confusion when you growl, “What did I tell you?” and push away her little hand. No wonder we all need therapy!

As an adult, you probably make the connection between a negative command (”don’t hit”), and a positive alternative (”talk through your problems”). For young children, this is impossible. Children younger than five or six simply do not understand conjugated verbs such as “don’t”. When you say, “Don’t talk with your mouth full,” you actually increase the chances that your child will “disobey” and that you will get to watch them grind broccoli in living color.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t want, redirect the child. When she spots the lamp, you could say, “You see the pretty lamp. Put your hand in mine and I will show you how to touch delicate objects that might break.” Perhaps you do not want to teach the child how to touch the lamp. Then you could say, “You see the pretty lamp. Let’s look at this truck. I will roll it to you. Whee!” Then push the truck over to the child. Have fun with the alternative you choose. Children, like all of us, respond to enthusiasm.
It’s so simple, but makes complete sense. I read this, and went, “No wonder they do the opposite of what I want them to do!” This fall, I purchased a copy of the book for each one of my teachers, and there are lots more nuggets of parenting gold where this comes from. I’ll be blogging more as I go through her book.

In the meantime, if you’d like more information about Becky Bailey and Concious Discipline, visit her website.

-by Miss Analiisa, who is going to make an effort to tell her children what she WANTS them to do, not what she DOESN’T!

Special thanks to Analiisa Reichlin for allowing us to share such an informative post from the Studio 3 Music Blog. Analiisa is Director of Studio 3 Music in Seattle, Washington, the world’s largest Kindermusik program.

Image source: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Permalink | Comments (0) | November 17, 2009 07:10

Music education and "a Kindermusik child"

Posted by Kindermusik International | Filed under , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted November 11, 2009

Over the thirteen years I have been attending Kindermusik classes, I have come to be able to spot a Kindermusik child a mile a way.

A Kindermusik child:
  • is curious
  • smiles a lot, even when alone
  • is confident in his or her own voice
  • enjoys hearing other children sing and play
  • can be calmed, excited, or centered by music
  • has the emerging patience to try and figure things out
  • enjoys – and is proud of – belonging to a group
    •
Now imagine if EVERY child shared these qualities. Might the news headlines look a bit different every morning...?

So to those who think arts education is not important enough to make a priority in our world, I say, “How would we know? We’ve never tried.”

-by Michael Dougherty, CEO of Kindermusik International. 

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Permalink | Comments (0) | November 11, 2009 08:16

Celebrate Book Lovers Day on November 7, 2009

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Posted November 3, 2009

What better way to celebrate “Book Lovers Day” on November 7 than to read a book? We all know that reading to our children is an important part of their intellectual and emotional development. But why is that? Parent and Child Magazine addresses the issue with a terrific article by Susan B. Neuman, professor of childhood studies at the University of Michigan. The article can be found here: http://content.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=8056

Reading is fun, stimulates the imagination, provides knowledge of the world and life, including problems and how to solve them. Language development is also strengthened by hearing words being read aloud. Children who read a variety of books on a daily basis also develop a sense of community, an understanding of “what it means to be human,” learning empathy as they are introduced to cultures and people that are different from their own.

Most parents instinctively recognize the value of reading to their child. What you may be surprised to discover is that learning to read can also help your child learn to play the piano or violin or even sing in a choir. The truth is that many of the same skills required to become a successful reader are the same skills a student must draw upon when learning to read music. Skills like tracking from left to right, recognizing that symbols have meaning, and eye-hand coordination are just a few of the common denominators in reading books and reading music.

So don’t just celebrate Book Lovers Day on November 7; celebrate reading and books every day! You’ll be doing something that will benefit your child in many ways for a long time to come.

Talk back! What’s your all-time favorite children’s book?

-by Kindermusik educator Theresa Case. Theresa's Kindermusik program, Kindermusik at Piano Central Studios, is in the top 1% of all programs in the world.

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Permalink | Comments (0) | November 3, 2009 05:15

The Amazing Effects of Music on Brain Development

Posted by Admin | Filed under , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted October 27, 2009

Recently, Miss Analiisa blogged about the healing power of music. She cited an article, “Better Minds Through Music,” written by Michael Shasberger, Adams Professor of Music and Worship. Because this is such great information, I’d like to build on her blog with further research I conducted, and tell you more about the fascinating, life-impacting research being done on music and the brain. Your children and mine can benefit immeasurably from putting into practice what researchers are discovering about the relationship between early exposure to music training and cognitive development.

Michael Shasberger’s excellent article was written primarily to fight the elimination of music programs from budget-strained elementary schools. He writes that study after study has demonstrated the profoundly significant impact music makes on children’s intellectual and social development. Academic performance and social behavior are positively impacted:

“Students involved in arts in the curriculum are four times more likely to be recognized for academic achievement, three times more likely to be elected to class office, four time more likely to participate in math and science fair, three times more likely to win an award for school attendance and four times more likely to win and award for writing an essay or poems. Young artists, as compared with their peers, are likely to attend music, art and dance classes nearly three times as frequently; participate in youth groups nearly four times as frequently; read for pleasure nearly twice as often; and perform community service more than four times as often. The benefits of exposing children to music and the arts are indisputable.”

Music’s power to heal is also well-documented. Neuroscientist Daniel Levitin has written books and produced an award-winning documentary, “The Music Instinct: Science and Song.” His research explores music’s power to touch our emotions, which has impact on our psychological and physiological systems. Findings show that music can alter and heal parts of the brain. For example people with Parkinson’s disease have been able to walk better because of listening to a rhythm soundtrack. And some stroke patients with aphasia (lack of speech) have been able to regain speech by beginning with singing what they were trying to say.

We know of music’s restorative properties, but how does music impact the brain development of our children? Researcher Sheila Woodward of USC discovered that fetuses in the womb respond to music at 17-19 weeks gestation. Michael Shasberger’s research suggests that music integrates both sides of the developing brain. Playing notes is a very sequential left-brain process. Seeing overall patterns, integrating the expression of the whole piece and dealing with rhythmic patterns are right brain skills. Math skills are required in timing and counting and fine motor skills must put it all together in the playing of the instrument. Music provides a total brain workout, Strasberg concludes.

The College Board that runs SAT testing backs this up. Music students post a consistent 10 % advantage in math and verbal scores. Dr. Frances Rauscher, a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin at Oshkosh states that musical training enhances abstract thinking and spatial-temporal ability even more than computer training. He concludes; “Music has an obvious impact on the brain and should be supported and encouraged in early childhood education.”

In conclusion, providing a music-rich environment early on can have a very positive impact on our children. Here are a few practical suggestions to integrate music into your kids’ daily lives:

Expose your kids to high quality music. Borrow CDs from the library. Listen to your Kindermusik CDs. Find the classical radio stations in your area. Purchase an inexpensive CD player for your child to enjoy his or her “own” music. Pair special occasions with special songs.

Enroll your kids in Kindermusik classes. Take them to concerts. There are many free ones in the summer and at libraries. Check the schedule for kids’ concerts at Benaroya Hall. Check the regular concert schedule too. Kids enjoy more kinds of music than you might think!

Make music at home. Invest in a musical instrument set to play rhythms, march and sing along to. Sign your children up for music lessons. My kids loved piano lessons.

-by Donna Detweiler who has a new appreciation for her husband’s habit of turning classical music on every night at dinner time.

Special thanks to Donna Detweiler and Analiisa Reichlin for allowing us to share such an informative post from the Studio 3 Music Blog. Analiisa is Director of Studio 3 Music in Seattle, Washington, the world’s largest Kindermusik program.  

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Permalink | Comments (0) | October 27, 2009 11:53

Leave it

Posted by Kindermusik International | Filed under , , , , ,
Posted October 15, 2009

Since seven-month-old Louie shined so brightly in puppy class, we figured he was ready for an advanced degree, and we signed him up for a novice-level obedience class at our local high school. So on Tuesday evenings my husband and I take him to learn good canine manners: sitting, coming, and lying down when asked; walking nicely on a leash; and the skill Louie finds most challenging, a canine skill that’s all about not doing something you really want to do: “leaving it.” Louie is learning to “leave it” by sitting back when there’s a doggie treat beckoning right in front of him. Eventually he’ll be able to “leave it” when he spies a tempting piece of garbage on the sidewalk or a smelly sneaker just waiting to be chewed.

“Leaving it” is all about self control and resisting temptation. It’s the canine equivalent of not sneaking one more cookie when your mother isn’t looking—which is related to not blurting out the answer before you’re called on in school, and resisting the urge to shoot just one more basket after your dad has called you in to dinner. I love watching Louie achieve good canine manners and gain control of himself—and of course it reminds me of when my boys were young and learning similar early lessons.

It seems that self control, discipline, good manners—all those traditional “virtues” that folks like Ben Franklin espoused—have gotten kind of lost in the last decade or so.  Everyone has been worrying a lot about school readiness—making sure preschoolers learn their ABCs and how to count to 100 and all the colors and shapes and other important academic stuff. But I think the tide is turning again. There’s significant talk amongst researchers and education experts these days about the importance of achieving solid social-emotional skills in the early years—not just because these are an essential part of the glue that holds any social group together, but also because they turn out to be critical for children’s academic success.

So much to learn these days before kindergarten, but fortunately, lots and lots of opportunities for learning. Two cookies: one for you and one for me. That’s both one-to-one correspondence and sharing; math and manners all in one bite.

-by Deborah L. Pool, PhD in Human Development. Debby is VP of Product Development at Kindermusik International. Milou, or "Louie", is Debby's wonderful seven-month-old labradoodle puppy.

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Permalink | Comments (7) | October 15, 2009 12:59